Unearthing the Past
by Gail On The Road Of Life
Summary: Rachel Roth and Garfield Logan never got along; any of the other Titans will tell you that. One day though, Raven says something that really hurts Beastboy. Will she be able to bring back the team jokester, and what is she willing to do to renew her friend's lost trust. WARNING: BBRae fluff and possible lemon
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N:**__Man, its been yonks since I ever posted something on here. And because I've recently started BBRae, I've decided to write my own._

_Please don't hate if any of the characters seem outta charater._

**Disclaimer:** I wish I owned Teen Titans, but that right goes to DC comics :(

There wasn't a lot going on around Jump City. Super villains and criminals alike had been laying low for some time, and so everyone in the city were grateful for the short respite from the constant attacks from villains such as Cinderblock, Plasmus, or Mumbo.

Of course, not everyone was able to handle the boredom of the villain free day. Robin was using the extra time to get some extra training in for himself, whilst having Starfire watch him. Cyborg was busy in the tower's garage working on his baby, the T-Car. This left a certain green teen with nothing to do. Well almost nothing to do.

"I swear Beastboy, if I catch you in my room again," a pale goth roared, "I'll make sure you're sent to the deepest, darkest chasm I can find!"

The object of the goth's annoyance was a skinny teen with a rather odd green complexion. His eyes, hair and skin were all shades of green, his body covered in a black and purple jumpsuit. He wore black and purple shoes, while his hands were covered with grey gloves.

"Don't kill me!" Beastboy yelled in response, "I'm too young to die!"

"Azarath... Metrion..." The Goth yelled, "ZINTHOS!"

A burst of black energy encompassed Beastboy's form, as the pale half demon advanced on the struggling superhero. The half demon had amethyst coloured eyes and hair, whilst her skin was a pale grey. She was dressed in a dark leotard with long sleeves, and had a similarly coloured cloak wrapped around her body.

"How many times have I said that my room is off limits?" The half demon demanded, "scratch that... how many times have I told you to stay out of my stuff?"

"Okay, okay... I get it Rae," Beastboy replied as he tried to squirm out of the dark energy that was holding him in place, "you're mad, and probably wanna kill me, right?"

"First off; it's Raven not Rae," Raven corrected, "and second; I'm not mad."

"You're not?" Beastboy asked tentatively.

"No, just upset that you didn't listen," Raven replied honestly, before drawing her arm back.

"Uh, Raven... whatcha doing?" Beastboy asked slowly.

"Like I said; I'm just upset that you didn't listen. Like Always!"

With that, Raven brought her hand forward in front of her, sending Beastboy out one of the many windows around the Titan's Tower. Raven walked to the window that she had just smashed, and looked down just in time to see a head bob out of the head. Of course, it wasn't Beastboy's head and Raven knew this. Instead, it was the head of a green Tyrannosaurus Rex. The large reptile shook itself clean, before stepping onto dry land, and morphing into a green human.

Raven shook her head in amusement and annoyance. The green teen always seemed to get straight back up after being used as her personal projectile whenever she fancied some target practice. More times than not, it occurred after Beastboy had done something to annoy her. Suppressing a smile, she turned around to face the common room doors as they opened with a hiss.

Robin and Starfire were walking side-by-side as Robin tried to explain something to the alien princess. When they saw Raven staring out of the broken window with her normal bored expression, they stopped talking and cautiously approached the half demon.

"What happened this time?" Robin asked.

"Same thing as always," Raven replied, not looking at either Titan.

"Friend Raven, what has happened to friend Beastboy?" Starfire asked, casting a confused glance to her boyfriend.

Raven merely pointed down towards the rough ground at the base of the Tower. Starfire gasped and quickly looked down to where she thought Raven was pointing. But all the alien princess saw was waves from the ocean beating against the rock outcroppings at the base of the Tower.

"Friend Raven... are you doing the 'joking'?" Starfire asked slowly.

"No Starfire, I'm not joking; I don't joke anyway," Raven sighed, "I threw him out the window cause I found him in my room again."

"So where is the Grass Stain?" a deep voice asked.

Everyone turned around to see a cybernetic teen walk towards the kitchen. Cyborg was the technical whizz of the superhero team, as he was part machine himself. Raven glared at the half man half machine teen before sighing, and pointing out the window.

"He... He left?" Cyborg stuttered, "why?"

"He hasn't left," Raven explained calmly, eyeing each of her fellow titans, "I threw him out the window and into the bay after I caught him in my room..."

"What was he doing?" The boy wonder asked, the detective in the young acrobat immediately picking up something off.

"He was standing in the middle of my room, looking lost," Raven recounted, "I don't really remember because he knows not to go in there."

"So you threw him out a window because he was standing in your room?" Cyborg asked, sniffing out the possible blackmail material in the story he was being told, "that's a little rough, don't ya think?"

"He shouldn't have been in my room," Raven retorted.

"I believe friend Beastboy was looking for your company," Starfire stated, "he didn't look like his normal chirpy self this morning."

Everyone looked at the ground as they remembered what day it was; five years had passed since Terra's betrayal. Terra had been a close friend of Beastboy's, going as far as him forming a crush on her before her betrayal. Well, not everyone bowed their head. Raven simply glared at the crowns of their heads.

"She may have saved the city," Raven grumbled, "but that doesn't excuse what she did to the team, not to mention, Beastboy!"

"It's a sign of respect Raven," Robin replied calmly, "the fact that she turned against Slade to save the city should at least earn her that much."

Raven sighed, before saying, "I wish the old Beastboy was here."

"What does that mean?" asked the green changeling, who had just entered the room, and towel over his shoulders.

"It means that I preferred the old you to this you," Raven replied, fighting to keep her emotions in line, and her voice a monotone, "before she came along and broke your heart. I liked you better when you were trying to make everyone laugh without any thought, or when you played Gamestation with Cyborg passionately, or when you trying to get me to come out of my shell and show my emotions.

"I thought were much better before Terra showed up and turned you into a lovesick puppy, before she sided with Slade and broke your heart. I know you were a better addition to the team than you are now, before you started acting like me."

Raven fell silent as she slowly calmed her emotions. During the explanation her voice had risen and her anger and frustration towards Beastboy had leaked into her normally monotonous voice.

The Titans simply stood where they were in an uncomfortably awkward silence. As Raven began to realise what she had said, she felt guilt slowly work its way into her mind. Beastboy's expression became sullen, and he suddenly turned back to the door, and stepped towards it.

"Perhaps I shouldn't have even left my home to come here," Beastboy remarked over his shoulder, his head turned slightly, "maybe I should've been buried with my parents when they died."

With that said, the Green Titan stormed out of the common room. Nobody moved, and nobody breathed for several awkward moments.

Cyborg was the first to break the silence, asking, "What just happened?"

Robin turned his gaze from the door to Raven, who had bowed her head so that no one would be able to see the tears that were forming at the edges of her eyes.

"I...I need to go..." Raven stammered as she tried to keep her monotone, "meditate." She walked through the remaining three Titans, who were all in different states of shock.

When the doors slide shut behind Raven, Starfire asked the one question that worried her the most in that moment; "Will friends Raven and Beastboy be okay?"

Nobody could answer the Tamaranian princess's uneasy question.

_**Please Fav/Follow/Review blah blah de blah :)**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: **__Thanks to all those who have read so far! Even if you haven't commented, I still feel great that there are people out there that want to read BBRae stories._

**_Nana: _**_I'm glad you do :D_

**_Aqua Rules:_**_ I think your right, but please don't hate me ;P_

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos, Azarath Metrion Zinthos," Raven muttered as she hovered above her bed, her legs twisted into a lotus like position, "Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

If you were to ask the half demon why she looked upset as she meditated in that moment, she would have stubbornly denied it. But the truth was, she was upset; she had never meant to hurt her friend's feelings, but she had done it, and it was something that she was starting to really regret.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos," Raven muttered, before sighing and letting herself land on her bed softly. Her emotions weren't cooperating and definitely making her attempts at mediation fail. Grabbing her meditation mirror, Raven uttered her mantra once again, and was sucked into said mirror.

Upon landing on a floating rock that was sitting in the middle of a large field of floating rock platforms, Raven started walking forwards, only slightly paying attention to the path in front of her, so as not to fall off.

If Cyborg was there with her, he would have told you that they were still in Titan's Tower, but they weren't at the same time; and that was because Raven was walking along a path within her mind, a place she called Nevermore. It was here that she would often come to discuss things with her emotions or to straighten them out herself.

Not that it would always work.

As Raven walked, she came across a large arch. Not even looking at it, Raven passed underneath it, and found herself within a large field with long grass and a forest nearby. She knew this to be Happy's domain, and kept her guard up, not wanting to be surprised by her pink emotion's vice like grip that could easily, match one of Starfire's.

"Rae Rae!" Said emotion called out as she collided with half demon, "you came!"

"Well it was either that, or wait for my powers to destroy something or someone," Raven reburked.

"Not that that would happen if you stopped being afraid," a yellow clad version of Raven said as she appeared wearing her trademark glasses, and a green book under her arm, "something Beastboy also struggles with."

"What are you talking about Knowledge?" Raven asked.

"What she's trying to say, girl, is that you need to stop being scared of who you are," a green clad Emoticlone answered for her yellow clad sister, "ya need to let ya friends help ya. You understand?"

"But what if we hurt B...Beast...Beastboy?" A grey clad emotion asked, "What if he hates us because of who we are?"

"Oh, Timid, there's no need to fret," Happy exclaimed, hugging the hunched emotion, "I reckon he loves us, right Love."

Upon hearing no answer, Happy looked around behind herself, but couldn't find the purple clad emotion. Looking towards Knowledge, Raven raised her eyebrow questionably.

Sighing softly to herself, Knowledge pulled out the green book that was under her arm, and asked, "Do you know what this is, Raven?"

Raven looked closely at the book in the yellow emotion's outstretched hands, and nodded her head slowly, saying, "isn't that the book that contains all of my memories of Beastboy?"

"That's what I thought when I first saw it," Knowledge stated, nodding her head as she spoke, "but then I opened it, and..."

Opening the book as to prove her point, Knowledge turned the book so that it was facing away from her. Raven couldn't respond to what she saw, nor could any of her Emoticlones.

"It's empty?" Brave asked.

"So it is," Rude answered the green cloaked Raven, "sweet observation skills greeny."

"We haven't forgotten about him have we?" Timid asked, pulling her head in between her shoulders.

"Far from it," Knowledge explained, "rather, I think an emotion has gone through the books of memories that I have and replaced Beastboy's with this one. And I have a fair idea of who that emotion is..."

Love was sitting cross legged in a field of long grass reading from a largish book when Raven found her. Not that it was very hard to find the purple cloaked emotion.

"I think you have something, that doesn't belong to you," Raven stated bluntly, "mind telling me why?"

"Do I have to?" was the quiet reply, "cause to me it's pretty obvious."

Raven stood silently as she processed this information. Love was a byproduct of Affection, but wasn't at the same time, instead would act like said emotion when interacting with Raven's other emotions.

"Why don't I tell you?" Love asked, bring Raven out of her quiet musings, "we're attracted to Beastboy."

Raven was silent for a moment as she thought this information through. Before Love realised what was happening, Raven had collapsed on to her side, facing away from Love. She was muttering something, but her purple cloaked emotion couldn't hear her properly.

"What was that?" Love asked curiously, as Raven started to shake ever so slightly.

"I said, how long?" Raven whispered, almost afraid of the answer.

"Since the whole Malchior incident," Raven's emotion explained, "maybe even before that. I know though that we definitely think of him as something more than just an annoying nuisance."

"God," Raven muttered, "I don't feel so amazing. I can't believe I said all that stuff about Beastboy. He must think I hate him."

"You did what you did out of love, and fear that he might start ignoring you."

"Isn't that what I've always wanted though?" Raven demanded, clenching her fists tightly together.

"To start with yes, you just wanted to be left alone," Love explained, "but eventually you grew accustomed BB always bugging you about one thing or another. He has never given up on us, always wanting to find out more about you."

The regret and guilt that was slowly settling in the base of Raven's stomach had suddenly become too much for the half demon, and she grabbed hold of Love's shoulders and did a very un-Raven like thing; she hugged her emotion. And it wasn't the kind of awkward hug that Starfire would receive, but rather was more like the hug that she gave Beastboy after the whole Malchior incident.

"What do I do now?" Raven cried helplessly into Love's shoulder, " if I go to him now, he'll think that I'm trying to make him feel worse than he already is."

"Be honest with him," Love replied comfortingly, "that's all he needs at the moment; someone that he can turn to for help."

Raven nodded her head slowly, before letting Love go. She turned away from the Emoticlone and walked off into the distance, disappearing soon after.

"Besides, you'll feel much better, and more in control, when you stop fighting me."

A shiver ran it's way up Raven's spine as she returned to her body as she unfolded her legs from their lotus position. It was like her empathic powers were trying to tell her something was seriously wrong. Raven shrugged it off deciding that she would try to talk to Beastboy first, then see what was causing the uncomfortable feeling.

Little did she know that Beastboy was the cause of the feeling.

As Raven made her way down to Beastboy's room, she could make or the sound of a heavy metal band through the thick walls of the Tower and Raven made the assumption that the music was coming from Cyborg's room. When Raven got to Beastboy's room, she raised her hand to knock and then hesitated.

"What if he doesn't want to see me?" Raven asked herself, a hint of fear in her voice.

She shook her head, and knocked on the door. When no answer came, she knocked again, this time with some more force behind her fist.

Again nobody answered.

"Beastboy?" Raven called out, "it's me, Raven. I just wanted to talk about earlier."

The only thing to answer Raven was silence.

"Beastboy, I know what I said was uncalled for," Raven started matter of factly, "and I just wanted to say sorry and make sure you were okay."

When silence was her only answer once again, Raven called her teammate's name once again, before fearing the worst.

"Beastboy?" Raven asked timidly, "if you're there, please just answer me."

When no answer was forthcoming, Raven used her powers to create a portal through Beastboy's door and into his room. What she found when she emerge was not what she expected. Beastboy lay on his floor, cradling a picture frame in one hand, while a knife lay discarded near his other hand, which was bleeding heavily from several cuts.

"BEASTBOY!" Raven exclaimed.

_**A/N:**__Please don't be a hater; comment with what you think :) I promise you'll make my day!_

_Yours Truly  
Eldrid Ragnarok_


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N: _**I know what your all thinking... How could I leave you on a cliffie?! My reason, so that I could have this scene :D Have fun reading ;P

_/one hour ago/_

'How could she... No, scratch that, how dare she?!' Beastboy thought bitterly to himself, 'how dare she pass judgement so easily!'

Beastboy was sitting on his bed as he fumed silently. He had heard what Raven had said about Terra, and hadn't really cared too much. But when the Goth had listed what she thought was wrong with him, he couldn't believe how betrayed he had felt.

'All the times when I've stuck my hand out for her, and this is how I'm repaid,' Beastboy thought, 'I don't even know why I try!'

'Because she is the one you care for the most,' the Beast's voice broke into BB's thoughts.

"And she throws me out of windows!" Beastboy retorted, "or threatens to send me to some random dimension!"

The Beast was silent for a moment.

'And yet you keep going back to her,' the Beast reminded BB.

Beastboy didn't reply, instead started to look for the knife he had been given when he was a prisoner of his uncle.

As he searched he came across several photos.

Each one had him in it, always smiling like there was no tomorrow. A lot of the had Cyborg, Starfire, and Robin posing alongside him, with two of them having Raven standing next to him, stoic expression broken by the smallest of smiles.

And then there was that one picture that he had kept of her.

It had been taken shortly after she had been accepted into the team, and showed Terra's arms wrapped around Beastboy in a Starfire worthy hug.

It had been the only picture of Terra that Beastboy had kept.

'She didn't mean a lot to you,' the Beast informed Beastboy, 'Not as much as Raven means to you.'

Beastboy grabbed the picture that held the only reminder of Terra and threw it at the wall across him, shattering the frame into several pieces.

"Nobody cares about me," Beastboy muttered to himself, "Nor do they care what happens to me."

He kept telling himself this as he searched desperately for the knife that he knew was somewhere in his room.

When he did find it, he turned towards his desk, pulling out a piece of paper and a pen.

And he began to write on the sheet.

_Dear fellow Titans,_

_I'll be leaving soon, and you can't do nothin' to stop me._

_I've made my choice, and I can't be here anymore, so I'm gonna move on._

_Please don't try to stop me, because this is what I want._

_Your Friend,_

_Beastboy._

Once he had finished the letter, he began to clear up his room, not wanting to leave it in a mess for the other Titans to have to clean up.

It was the least he could before he left them forever.

His dirty clothes were put in bags and left by his door, his various comics, games and movies were placed inside a box that he had found in his cupboard, and he stripped down his bed, placing the used sheets with his clothes, and made both the top and bottom bunk with clean unused sheets.

As he continued to tidy up, he made an extra effort to leave the shattered picture frame alone, the picture itself remaining upside down throughout the whole process.

Once his room was spotless, Beastboy grabbed his knife, which he had found under his bed, and sat in the centre of his room, the picture of Raven and him sitting on the couch next to each resting in front of him.

"I guess there's nothing left to hold me back," Beastboy whispered to himself, bringing the blade closer to his arm.

His hand was shaking as he drew the cold blade across his skin, digging into an artery that was at his wrist.

He bit down on his lip to stop the cry of pain that wanted to come out, and continued to draw the blade across his skin, eventually feeling it fall away as it lost the resistance of his flesh.

Beastboy continued to draw the knife across his skin, carving more lines into his skin before eventually he could no longer hold the knife well enough to keep going.

Laying down on his side, Beastboy let the knife fall from his hand and reached for the picture of him and Raven.

"Why can't I ever do anything right?" Beastboy whispered to himself, cradling the frame to his chest.

He didn't know when the tears started to fall, but when they did, Beastboy did nothing to stop them, letting his tear ducts rum themselves dry before slowly slipping in and out of unconsciousness.

When he heard knocking at his door, Beast boy ignored it, preferring the silence of his room to whatever the person on the other side of the door had to say.

"Beastboy?" Raven's voice floated to Beastboy's ears, causing him to raise his head ever so slightly, "It's me, Raven. "I just wanted to talk about earlier."

Beastboy remained quiet. Maybe if he stayed quiet enough, then she'd go away, right?

"Beastboy, I know what I said was uncalled for," Raven's voice was its normal monotone, making the apology sound hollow in the green elf's ears, "And I just wanted to say sorry and make sure that you were okay."

Beastboy closed his eyes, wishing, no willing, Raven to go away and leave him alone.

"Beastboy?"

Her voice sounded scared. Raven was never scared, so Beastboy remained silent.

She'd definitely go away if she thought he wasn't in here.

"If you're there, please just answer me."

Beastboy shifted, wanting to hide his face. He didn't like ignoring Raven; she didn't deserve that. But he didn't deserve such an amazing person as a friend.

He should of died with his parents back in Africa.

"BEASTBOY!" Raven's cry shook Beastboy from his thoughts.

He looked up, staring into Raven's purple eyes. She was scared.

That was weird; Raven was never scared.

Raven was pulling her communicator out from within her cloak, when Beastboy reached out and gripped her arm.

"Don't," Did his voice sound so weak? Maybe his ears were just playing tricks on him. "Please, don't tell anyone. I… I want… this."

Raven's eyes drilled into Beastboy's, and she was shocked to find sadness cloudy his normally vibrant green orbs. She felt tears pricking at the edges of her eyes, but she blinked them away, switching the communicator on.

"_Raven? What's wrong?" _Robin's face showed concern, even though his eyes were covered by his ever present mask.

"Tell Cyborg that he needs to get the infirmary ready," Raven instructed, her voice its regular monotone, "Beastboy's hurt."

Before Robin could ask what Raven was talking about, the half-demon had snapped her communicator shut and turned to Beastboy, whose eyes had closed, his breathing becoming erratic.

"Why did you do it, Beastboy?" Raven whispered softly as she glanced at the cuts on his arms, "What drove you to do something like this?"

_**A/N: **_I kinda feel bad right now... Another cliffhanger... hopefully I can bring another chapter out soon :)  
Oh, and before I forget, thanks to all those of you that have reviewed; it makes me feel so great to know that there are still BBRAE fans out there :)


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N:_**_ hmm... so I know that this story is really depressing at the moment, but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain... anyway, I hope ya'll enjoy this chapter._

Beastboy opened his eyes slowly as he regained consciousness.

'Bright,' He thought, 'too bright.'

He quickly shut them again, regretting the decision.

'Maybe if I open my eyes slowly...'

"Hey BB," Cyborg's voice floated into Beastboy's ears, "Good to see you awake again."

Confusion clouded Beastboy's mind as he tried to comparand what his robotic friend had just said. He was… awake? But he had remembered feeling the cold bite of his knife against his wrist.

How was it then that he was still alive and breathing?

"You really scared us man," Cyborg stated, and Beastboy forced his eyes to focus on the hulking mass that was his friend, "Things haven't been the same these past couple of weeks…"

Cyborg trailed off, his one human eye glistening with tears.

"Who?" Beastboy groaned, hoping that his friend understood.

"Who do you think?" Cyborg retorted, "She hasn't left her room after she finished healing you. She told me to monitor your condition, but not to go looking for any problems. I've never seen her so… upset."

Beastboy moaned quietly. 'So Raven saved me?' the Animorph asked himself, 'The question is, _why_?'

Cyborg was staring at something on a screen in front of him. His brow creased in worry, or at least the human side of his brow creased, and the cybernetic Titan walked towards the door. "I need to get the others. Stay where you are."

Beastboy didn't feel like arguing, nor did he think he was in any position to move even if he wanted to. So he did as his friend had told him.

He waited.

"Are sure?" the Titan's masked leader asked, "I mean, is there any chance that your equipment could be wrong?"

"If it is, and I'm hoping that it is, then we don't have to worry about anything," Cyborg replied, "The problem is, Rob', that I've almost never been wrong before."

There was an uneasy silence that followed after Cyborg's statement. It was broken by a confused Starfire.

"Please, what is wrong with friend Beastboy?" Starfire asked, "He is well again, is he not?"

Robin wrapped his arm around Starfire's shoulders, as Cyborg repeated what he had just explained.

"Physically; Beastboy should be fine," the African American teen explained, "But his body's shutting down on itself. All I know that it has something to do with his mental wellbeing, but I can't do anything because I have no idea what I should do."

Starfire turned to Robin, a said glint in her eyes, as she scrunched her face in confusion.

"Beastboy's dying, Star," Robin explained, "And it has something to do with the way he's been acting recently."

Starfire's face appeared to soften at this, as unshed tears suddenly pouring down from her eyes. Robin felt something inside his chest shatter as the alien princess burst into tears.

'Maybe I should've worded that differently,' the teen detective thought bitterly.

"Have you told Raven?" Robin asked, addressing a defeated Cyborg, "She needs to know."

"Told me what?" a monotonous voice spoke from behind them, "What do you need to tell me?"

Starfire immediately captured Raven in one of her 'hugs of death', causing Raven to freeze.

"Oh friend Raven," Starfire bawled, "It is so not fair…"

"Starfire… can't… breath," Raven gasped.

The Tamaranian released the dark empath, who drew her hood back so that her friends could see her face. She needed to know what was going on; it hadn't been fair on anybody when she decided to lock herself inside her room.

"Beastboy's all patched up thanks to you," Cyborg exclaimed happily.

Raven noticed how the oldest teen's smile didn't quite reach its normal size, and that it kept fading as she stared boredly at Cyborg. She could feel a 'but' coming…

Cyborg didn't seem to want to speak anymore. Either that, or his vocal cords had failed him. His opening and closing mouth was definitely amusing to Raven.

As Cyborg continued to gape, Raven towards Robin, who was trying to comfort a blubbering Starfire.

"I can tell from what Cyborg hasn't told me that something's wrong," Raven stated matter-of-factly, "So just spill."

Robin glanced at Cyborg, who sighed in a defeated manner, before returning his attention to the dark sorceress. He knew that he was treading on very dangerous grounds now, so decided to go for a softer approach than he had with Starfire.

"Cyborg's discovered a, uh… ailment… within Beastboy," the masked leader spoke slowly, watching Raven's reaction, "He doesn't know exactly what the cause is, but he believes that our green teammate is dying."

Raven was silent as she processed the news. Then she turned on Cyborg.

"Do you have any theories?" she asked.

"I have one, but I doubt it is actually the problem," Cyborg stated, "Ya'll know how he's every animal in existence rolled into one, and so has all of their instincts?" Everyone nodded. "So maybe that's what's causing him to shut down; if an animal can't perform its function, it dies."

Robin stared at Cyborg skeptically, his mind slowly turning the idea upside down and inside out, before nodding his head.

"It makes sense," he told the robotic teen, "But that leaves some questions; like why now? Why not sooner? Or why not later?"

"Maybe it has been happening for sometime?" Starfire sniffled, "Perhaps the sickness has done the 'catching up' on Beastboy."

"Starfire could be on to something there," Cyborg nodded, "Sure, an animal only stops when it can't take anymore, but what if each of BB's animal forms have been falling apart over a long period of time and we're only just starting to see the effects?"

Everybody nodded slowly, knowing that it was the only answer they could come up with that made any sense.

"Is there any way to help friend Beastboy?" Starfire asked, hoping beyond everything and anything that someone might be able to come up with something.

Raven stared at her feet, her emotions screaming at her to talk to her changeling teammate. She knew that it could help; Whenever she was upset, Beastboy would always try to get her to talk about it, or at least talk to her in general.

"Someone needs to talk to him," Robin declared, "Cyborg, you should do it, you're his best friend."

Cyborg glanced around the room. "I dunno man; I think he needs someone more than a friend to help him."

"Who is this person you are thinking of?" Starfire asked.

"It'd have to be someone that can understand him," Cyborg explained.

Robin quickly caught on, "It'd have to be someone that has experiences that they can relate to Beastboy's."

Both boys turned towards Raven.

"Why me?" Raven demanded.

"Think about it Raven," Robin replied, "As much as you don't want to admit; you and Beastboy are the same in a few areas. It might not be many, but you two can connect on much deeper level than the rest of us can."

Raven huffed, knowing that she wasn't getting out of this. Not that she was complaining; she really needed to talk to the green animorph and this might help.

"Fine, I'll do it," she grumbled, "Just let me grab some tea, then I'll go see the annoying twerp."

Hopefully she'll be able to fix some of the things she'd done to hurt her closest friend, maybe even learn a bit more about his past. It was, after all, now up to her to help the green teen heal.


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: **__This chapter is mostly fluff, something I have little experince in, so please bear with me_

_Otherwise, R&amp;R please_

* * *

Beastboy was fast asleep when Raven entered the infirmary, and she almost wondered if Cyborg had made a mistake about telling them that their shape-shifting teammate was up and cracking jokes.

Ever since she had 'talked' with her emotions, though it was more of a one sided scolding for Raven, the half-demon had been more willing to accept that the Titan's Animorph had wormed his way into her heart.

Though she still didn't believe what she was being told.

'There's no way Beastboy is dying,' Raven thought to herself, 'Not with that bright happy-go-lucky attitude of his.'

Glancing at the hospital-style bed that held the changeling told a completely different story though. Beastboy was currently hooked up to so many different machines that his body was barely visible.

Sitting down in the chair next to the bed, Raven held her tea between her hands, letting the hot object warm her strangely cold hands.

Lying next to her was Beastboy, his skin a paler green than its usual tone, the shaggy hair that was usual all over the place was no sticking to his forehead like a green rug.

He definitely wasn't in perfect health.

'Why now?' Knowledge asked softly, 'He was so happy until now; what changed?'

'May...maybe...it...it was…our f-f-fault?' Timid suggested shamefully before breaking down in tears, 'H-h-he's g-g-going t-t-to d-d-di-die b-b-because of us.'

'He was cutting himself,' Brave whispered in disbelief, 'He was cutting himself.'

Raven sighed; her emotions had been like this ever since she had discovered Beastboy on the floor of his room bleeding. She had spent the last couple of weeks in her room, having only come out for missions and food.

Except for one time where she went to Beastboy's room to find out what was wrong.

She had found his note, as well as the shattered remains of a picture frame surrounding a picture of him and _her_.

'Terra was a bitch,' Rage spat, straining against her restraints, 'I know that, Knowledge knows it, and you know it. She was the cause.'

"I didn't help," Raven whispered, "I pushed him away; I didn't even try to find out what was wrong. I don't know why he stays around me, trying to be my friend; he only gets hurt."

"Because somebody has to," somebody breathed, causing Raven to jolt, "you look kinda lonely otherwise."

"Beastboy!" Raven shouted, causing the green skinned teen to flinch, "Ar-are you okay?"

Beastboy's responding smile was less than convincing.

"Could be worse," he replied, "Could be dead..."

Raven scowled. "Don't do that; don't joke about it."

Beastboy closed his eyes, sighing softly.

"Sorry; force of habit."

Raven looked down at her tea, wondering how she was going to...

"They want to know why, don't they," Beastboy stated, "It's the only reason you'd be here."

Raven tried to swallow the tightness that had form in her throat. "What are you talking about? Didn't it cross your brain that I might have wanted to talk to you?"

"I thought it was common knowledge that I didn't have a brain," the changeling laughed.

Raven looked out the large window that took up an entire wall of the room, her gaze not really seeing what was outside the window.

"Cyborg would try to laugh it off," Beastboy spoke suddenly, startling the dark sorceress, "Robin would try to explain that dying is part of nature, and Starfire would just break down in tears trying to explain. I would have thought you wouldn't care beyond healing me cause I always annoy you."

Raven stared at Beastboy for a moment before smiling. Sure it was a barely-there kind of smile, but it was there. It was moments like this that Raven found Beastboy the most interesting; when he was showing a level of deep understanding that usually escaped the jokester.

"If you died, then who would be there to annoy me?" Raven asked softly, "Who understands how to annoy me without angering me?"

Beastboy shrugged, mumbling, "I'm sure you'd find someone to replace me; there are plenty of annoying jokesters out there..."

Raven gripped Beastboy's hand tightly in her own.

"Nobody has been through what you have to get to know me," her voice was soft, like she was telling a secret that no one else knew, yet still in her infamous monotone, "Nobody else can tell the same lame jokes in an effort to make me laugh or smile; no one else knows what it feels like to go through what I have..."

"Nor have I earned that kind of trust or respect from anyone," Beastboy interjected, "Least of all you."

Raven glowered at Beastboy for a short moment, before sighing in defeat. "It's not that I don't trust you Beastboy, or that I don't respect you; it's the fact that unlike Cyborg, you haven't shown the slightest ability to listen to what someone has to say without laughing, or how Robin can offer words that make sense no matter how you look at it."

"And Starfire is like a sister to you," Beastboy muttered, "You two switched bodies. You helped Cy rebuild the T-Car after it was trashed, _and _you've been inside Rob's mind."

Raven stared at Beastboy in surprise; he was dying and yet was able to guess what she was going to say before she could say it. She was starting to grow even more guilty about all the times she had mocked his capability to think, let alone understand things.

They sat together silently for a long time; Raven slowly draining her tea, while Beastboy lay on the infirmary bed, seemingly asleep.

"And yet, you are always trying to get me to do things with everybody; to go out of my comfort zone, regardless of how many times I threaten you," Raven stated matter-of-factly, "You all understand what I want, but only you decide to get me to do things that are good for me, only you do what you think I need."

The animorph's ears perked ever so slightly, as understanding gleamed in his dull eyes.

"The coin..." he breathed.

Raven nodded, "The one you gave to me on the night I became Trigon's portal. Do you remember what you said?"

"For Luck," Beastboy replied, "You looked like you had lost all hope; I thought you'd understand..."

"I did," Raven muttered, her eyes drifting towards the window again, "I gave you all a part of my powers to save you from what was coming; you could say I gave them to you for luck."

Beastboy nodded his head softly, before sighing dejectedly.

"I'm dying," Beastboy sighed sadly, "Go figure; I try to take my life and screw it up only to have my body give up on me..."

"Cyborg thinks it has something with your animal forms not having any reason to live," Raven muttered, "Do you think that's the reason?"

"If it is, then I should have died when I was still a little kid," Beastboy explained, "I can tell you it's more than that."

'He's already accepted his fate,' Brave gasped, 'And he's acting like he knew it was going to happen.'

'Why wouldn't he?' Knowledge asked, 'He's faced the end of the world; I doubt death would scare him.'

Raven bowed her head as she tried to decipher her friend's' and her emotion's, words. It struck her with such clarity that she felt guilty for not realising it before.

"Your note," Raven muttered.

Beastboy glanced at her, confusion giving away to understanding as he realised what his gothic friend was talking about. His head bobbed three times in conformation of Raven's guess.

"You don't think anyone cares about you?"

"Why would they?" Beastboy asked rhetorically, "I've screwed up more times than I have animal forms; who would want to deal with me?"

"Beastboy, I-we care about you," Raven stated bluntly, "We're your family, and we care about you, whether you know about it or not."

Beastboy sat up suddenly, clenching his fists as he glared at the door to the infirmary.

"They told you to talk to me," he growled threateningly, "You don't actually want to talk to me, do you?"

Raven stared at Beastboy boredly, wrestling her shock down beneath her expression.

"What makes you think that?"

"Since when have you ever cared about my health or well-being?" Beastboy demanded, "If you did, you wouldn't be throwing me into or through things!"

"Beastboy, I was brought up not being allowed to form attachments or feel any kind of emotion because of my powers," Raven droned, "I was scared of what would happen if we grew to close and I lost you."

"You don't have that problem with any of the other Titans," Beastboy huffed, "Why me?"

"If I answer that question, will you answer one of my mine?"

Beastboy glanced away from Raven, deciding that his hands were more interesting in that moment. Did he really want his question answered so badly?

"Yes," he caved into his curiosity, not just for her answer, but the question she wanted to ask, "If you answer questions I ask, I'll answer any of yours, within reason; Deal?"

"You're always there for me," Raven explained, answering Beastboy's first question, "If there is one thing that I like the most about you, it's that you are willing to put aside your own happiness whenever I'm not happy. You're always willing to risk pain and embarrassment to make me happy.

"As much as I threaten you and throw you through windows, the truth is; I care about you Garfield, more than I should be allowed."

This gave Beastboy pause. Raven; dark, meditating, reading-obsessed, magical Raven, cared about him; green, short, unhumorous Beastboy.

Who would have thought that would have happened.

"Thanks Raven," Beastboy smiled, "You don't know how much that means to me..."

"I think I can take a guess," Raven replied, returning Beastboy's smile, "I'm an empath remember; I can feel others emotions."

Beastboy chuckled, his usual goofy smile taking it's rightful place on his lips. As Raven gazed upon her friend, she could see the life start to come back to his skin.

'He still has a long way to go,' Knowledge pointed out, 'He's still unsure of himself, despite all that he has accomplished.'

Raven glanced at the time on her communicator and noticed that it was nearing time for dinner, and so she pointed this out to the green teen sitting next to her.

"I guess I could go for something to eat," he replied, gently removing the different cords that were attached to him, "You go ahead, there's something I need to deal with first."

Raven nodded her head to show she had heard Beastboy's words, before exiting the infirmary.

'I need to get my knife and that note,' Beastboy thought to himself, 'Can't let any of the others find out.'

* * *

_**A/N: **okay, so I'm hoping from here that things will get better, but knowing myself as well as I do, that's probably not going to happen; this is an angtsy story after all, and so Beastboy will have to face several other characters in public_

_Until Next Time,  
_Eldrid Ragnarok


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: **Other than a big fluffy thank you to all of those you have read, faved, followed or reviewed this story, I want to warn you that this story is going to get dark for several chapters, so please bear with me :|_

* * *

"Check."

Beastboy stared at the board before him.

Playing chess wasn't one of his strong points, but he had played a few times with his adoptive father, Mento, back when he was with Doom Patrol.

And now he was playing against Raven, and losing badly.

Moving his king over one square, Beastboy said, "Your turn."

Raven stared at the board for a long time, her hand moving to hover over one piece or another, before she finally seemed to come to a decision.

She moved her rook down to the same row as his king.

"Checkmate." Her voice was monotonous, but the gleam in her eye showed that she was having fun.

Beastboy knew that her eyes was the best place to see what his friend was feeling. And it felt good knowing that the half-demon was having fun playing chess with him; even if it did mean he lost repeatedly.

"I think you're getting better," Raven smirked, causing Beastboy to glance at her.

It had been about a week since he had awoken from his coma, and he was already getting better; both physically and emotionally. Occasionally he'd catch Starfire, Robin or Cyborg treating him like a ticking time bomb, but even they had to admit that he was getting better.

He was even pushing himself harder during training to make up for his lack… well, training.

Not that it was needed, because Jump seemed to be going through a quiet patch of villain free schemes.

Sure there was the occasional small time crime, but they were being handled by the JCPD while the Titan's tried to heal their broken team member.

And Raven had helped the most.

"You almost had me this time around," Raven continued, "Of course, there are some things you had done wrong, I guess it would have only been a matter of time before I finally got the upper hand."

Beastboy nodded, absentmindedly running his finger along the grooves of Raven's chess board.

"Thanks Raven," Beastboy mumbled, "For everything."

Raven inclined her head in understanding.

The incident had unofficially become taboo for the residents of Titans Tower. Raven had deliberately avoided throwing him into objects whenever he had done something to annoy her, instead glare at him.

Cyborg would let Beastboy win more often whenever they pitted against each other in whatever game they decided to play, and he had stopped pestering his little brother about his choice not to eat meat.

Robin and Starfire remained the same, reasoning that Starfire rarely did anything to upset Beastboy in the first place, and that it'd be weird if the boy wonder was to soften up on the shapeshifter.

'He's happier today,' Raven noted mentally.

'Let's hope nothing ruins his mood,' Knowledge responded.

_**TT**_

Fate seemed to have other plans for the team though, as the sorely missed Crime Alarm began to sing it's annoying song.

"Who is it this time, Rob?" asked Cyborg, cracking his cybernetic fingers.

Robin was staring at the screen, his mask hiding what his eyes would have told the team his thoughts.

"Adonis," their leader breathed, "He's down at the arcade."

'And to think this day couldn't get any worse,' Raven thought bitterly, her eyes glancing towards Beastboy.

He was unusually calm.

"Let's get this over with," he sighed.

Robin nodded his head.

"Titans GO!"

_**TT**_

The teen heroes arrived on site to find Adonis in a newer, larger, robotic suit. It had his usual red color scheme, and he was flirting with a crowd of cowering teenage girls.

"Oi!" Cyborg called out, "Why don't ya pick on someone your own size!"

It wasn't the team's usual battle call, but it did it's job in getting the villain's attention.

"If it isn't the teen losers," Adonis laughed, holding his stomach as he doubled over. "What makes you think you can defeat me?"

"It would be the same for every other villain we have done the 'kicking of the but' to," Starfire announced, "We have done the kicking of your butt before, and we shall do so again."

Adonis just shook his head. "Not with this new suit you won't. I designed so that I could still take advantage of something that you," Adonis pointed at Cyborg, "Took from me."

"Whatever, dude," Beastboy snorted, "Let's just get this over with."

Adonis sneered, turning to his side to grab hold of a truck that was sitting close by. Hefting it up, he threw it at the Titans, who only just managed to avoid being crushed by the flying vehicle.

"Hold still you little pipsqueaks," Adonis taunted, "Just lemme hit ya once."

The battle drew out, with Adonis chucking nearby vehicles at the Titans as they tried to get close enough to land a blow. Only Starfire and Robin had managed to land any blows, but they had both been battered away by the egotistic teen villain.

"Is that all you losers have got?" Adonis chuckled. "I haven't even broken a sweat yet."

Beastboy could see an opportunity to land a decent blow against their opponent, and so went for it. The problem was, Adonis had seen the green cheetah charge towards him and was prepared for the Rhino that took it's place.

"Gotta do better than that shortstuff," Adonis laughed as he threw the green rhino into the side of a nearby building.

Luckily there was nobody inside, and so the only harm was to Titan's changeling. Raven had seen the her teammate and friend go down, and so rushed towards him.

She was caught off guard, as Adonis slammed into her, forcing her to the ground.

"Why are you going to the weakling?" he breathed seductively into her, his breathing sending a tingle of unwanted sensations threw the sorceress' body. "You could always have a piece of this manly body before you."

Adonis felt a hand grip the shoulder of his suit, and only barely had time to register the green hand that was holding it.

"From the look on Raven's face," Beastboy growled in Adonis' ear, "I don't think she's interested."

The green teen proceeded to twist around, pulling Adonis with him before letting the villain go. The suit, along with it's creator, smashed into the same building that Beastboy had just been in.

"Thanks," Raven whispered, turning towards her other teammates, "Think you can handle him?"

Beastboy smiled his goofy smile. "I took him down twice on my own, right?"

Raven didn't get a chance to respond, because Adonis had tackled the changeling into another building across from them.

"You think you can just toss me aside like that," Adonis demanded, "The girls love a buff guy; not a skinny green twerp like yourself; so stay outta my way."

Beastboy groaned as he got to his feet, taking a shaky boxing stance.

"Not until you're behind bars," he retorted, his voice shaky.

Adonis noticed this.

"Oh, did I hurt wee Beastbaby's feelings?" Adonis mocked, smirking as Beastboy remained silent, "What's the matter, snot? Tired of fighting a man?"

"Shut up," Beastboy growled, only to be smacked hard around the back of his head by Adonis.

"Not gonna happen," Adonis smirked, placing his boot on the animorph's back, "You really are like snot, ain't ya?"

Beastboy groaned, trying to push himself up and out of the dusty rubble that had been created by Adonis' earlier attack. It was for naught though, as Adonis just pushed Beastboy back into the ground.

"You ain't going nowhere loser," Adonis barked, "Not until I've pounded some sense into ya."

Beastboy couldn't breath, he knew that much, and so anything Adonis was saying to him was becoming more and more annoying.

"I told you to shut up," Beastboy groaned.

"Who's gonna make me?" the villain smirked, leaning towards BB, "You?"

Beastboy couldn't speak.

"Didn't think so," Adonis laughed, "You such a weak little shit."

Beastboy groaned.

"Your green, like snot."

Beastboy was starting to see stars.

"You turn into animals," Adonis sneered, "I mean, c'mon; what kinda power is that?"

Beastboy choked back a sob; he couldn't cry, not in front of Adonis.

"You ain't got a chance with the ladies," he continued, "You wanna know why?"

He didn't give Beastboy a chance to answer.

"Because nobody cares about you," Adonis smirked, leaning closer to Beastboy's ear, "You hear me?"

Beastboy could feel the metaphorical knife pierced his skin.

"Nobody…"

Now it was tearing at his chest.

"Cares…"

Sliding past his ribs.

"About…"

Stabbing his heart.

"You."

The curtain of red rage that descended over Beastboy's eyes was fueled by the Beast, as it tore apart his humanity; the invisible knife having already shredded his heart. He was no longer in control of his body.

The Beast had free reign now.

Shoving upwards, the Beast (using Beastboy's human form) knocked Adonis to the side, rolling away as the villain landed with a thud about a metre away. The growl that ripped through Beastboy's throat was primal and not like any sound he would normally make.

When Adonis climbed out of the rubble though, he wasn't human anymore; he was in his own Beast form, and he was beyond livid.

The villain charged forward, knocking the human form Beast into another wall; this one thick enough to survive the impact. The sound of bones cracking could be heard as Adonis shoulder charged the Beast, causing the weakened human form to dig deeper into the wall.

Reverting back into his human form, Adonis smirked.

"You are _so _weak and pathetic," he sneered, "Not to mention a klutz; always screwing up whatever plan Robin and the rest of those losers come up with. I wonder why they keep you around…"

Adonis trailed off mockingly, holding his chin in thought.

Snapping his fingers, Adonis shouted, "I know; it's because you can turn into animals. You the team pet; their mascot. That's all you're to them..."

The black hand that suddenly knocked Adonis back was a surprise to both the green hero and egotistic villain. Adonis growled, clenching his fists in frustration, until he was suddenly knocked back by an explosive bird-a-rang.

"Nobody gets to talk like that to the TItans," Robin growled, positioning himself between Adonis and Beastboy, "Not even the Titans themselves."

Adonis smiled triumphantly. "But you think it, don't you. I can see it in the way you act as a team; he's a distraction."

A blue beam of sonic energy smashed into Adonis, throwing him to the side.

"He's only a distraction when he's hurt," Cyborg growled, "Any other time, he's done everything the rest of us have."

"But you still think he's useless," Adonis sneered, causing both Robin and Cyborg to fatler. "You think he'd be better off back at the tower; doing chores that the rest of you don't want to do"

The crunch of boots against the ground was accompanied by Starfire's voice.

"You are wrong!" she shouted, her voice cracking with the level of hatred in it, "He is our friend! It was Beastboy that suggested that we became the Titans we are today; and it is Beastboy that does the 'cracking of jokes' whenever we face impossible odds!"

Starfire had almost never been this angry. She was no longer floating in the air like their was care in the world, and her hands and eyes were ablaze with her green colored starbolts.

"You will surrender," Starfire growled, grabbing onto Adonis' suit, "And you will do the 'shutting of the up' like Friend Beastboy told you!"

WIth that said, Starfire threw Adonis into the street outside, his suit shattering upon impact. The villain could be heard groaning in pain.

Turning around, Starfire smiled sweetly.

"Shall we do the 'feasting on pizza' now?"

* * *

**_A/N: _**_Before you say anything about me hating BB, let me just tell you that I had originally planned for him to trash Adonis and put him in hospital, but I figured that this would work better for both Beastboy and Raven..._

_I am sorry... Please forgive me *kneels on ground, begging* _Please...


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: **__Thanks to all of those that have reviewed :D You are the people that make me want to keep writing... sadly Wattpad isn't as kind to some of us authors..._

_Hope you enjoy this chapter; but I will warn you, it is a depressing one _:'(

* * *

Alerts kept coming in, and so the Titans kept answering them

Or most of the TItans.

Public curiosity on the sudden absence of Jump City's changeling Titan protector was growing, but each time the Titans were asked, they told the same story.

Beastboy was away on personal matters.

The city's media could smell a good story, and the mighty machine that was Jump City's media began to turn over some pretty large, if not fake, rocks.

"... Is Beastboy really gone momentarily?" a news anchor asked, "Or is his extended disappearance since his battle with teen villain Adonis more than a personal prob-"

The TV switched off, as a green form twisted uncomfortably on the large 'C' shaped couch.

'The others will be back soon,' Beastboy muttered mentally, 'I can't let them see me like this.'

If his appearance after his attempted suicide was bad, then he looked like he had already met Death now.

His hair was longer than normal, and in a shaggy mess. His skin was paler than Raven's, though it was still shaded green, and was marked by countless scars. These weren't new scars, but reminders of his past lives.

Lives that had happened long before Doom Patrol.

One's that he couldn't let his friends know about.

It was his eyes that had truly changed though. Instead of their normally vibrant green, they had faded into more a dull greeny-blue; the color of his irises could have been passed off as normal, if it wasn't for the pain and self-loathing that swirled into the colors.

Pulling on the hoodie that he had discarded on the couch not so long ago, Beastboy hurried to his room, knowing that if he's friends saw him, they'd start asking questions.

And if Raven saw the scars, she'd want to know how long he'd been cutting himself.

_**TT**_

Collapsing onto the couch, Cyborg let out a huff.

"Is it just me, or is it taking longer to defeat every villain?"

Robin glanced at his cybernetic friend as he stared at the News broadcast that was currently on. Most of it was trivial things about the city, or about the numerous villains that Titans were dealing with.

He didn't care much for that; he wanted to know what the media was doing to the 'Beastboy Problem', as the public had dubbed it.

"It's taking longer," Raven replied in her monotone, "But not because they're getting better, or because we're getting worse…"

She'd trailed off, again.

'That's been happening since she'd healed BB almost a month ago,' Cyborg noted, 'She'd been devastated after what Adonis had done to the Grass Stain.'

Nobody really knew what Adonis had done to Beastboy; he wouldn't talk about it, and Adonis would just smile cockily, saying that he'd finally broken the changeling.

Though, the words he'd used were slightly more on the offensive side. And from the way the green animorph was acting, Adonis must have hurt him pretty bad.

"...The one question on everyone's mind is," the news anchor announced, an image of the Titans with a question mark over a blacked out Beastboy behind him, "Where is Beastboy?"

Robin turned the large TV screen off, dropping the remote on the coffee table in front of him.

"Beastboy's hurting," he stated bluntly, "And there isn't a damn thing we can do!"

Starfire floated over to her boyfriend, placing a gentle kiss on his temple.

"Do not worry Robin," Starfire told him, "Friend Beastboy may be doing the hurting; but he will be fine. He is always fine."

Robin smiled, but it didn't quite met the edge of his mask.

"I can't believe this has happened," Robin growled, smacking his knee with his fist, "I promised that I'd look after you guys, and Beastboy's broken; has been broken for a long time. I screwed up _so _badly."

Raven came up behind the Titan's leader, and smacked him hard across the back of the head.

"OW!" He cried out, "What the hell, Raven?!"

"Feel better now?" Raven asked, tilting her head to the side.

"No, no I don't" Robin replied, "But if that's your way of telling me to stop beating myself up, then it worked."

"Good," Raven replied, turning towards the common room doors, "I'll go see if I can talk to Beastboy; hopefully I can get him to come get something to eat."

Nobody responded for a long time, waiting for Raven to leave. Once she had, Cyborg spoke up.

"What do you think the chances of BB being able to ignore Raven's logic will be?"

Robin sent a glare towards the half-robot Titan.

"Barely there," Robin grumbled, "She sure as hell can make a point when she wants to."

_**TT**_

Beastboy was curled up under his bed, his shirt and hoodie discarded on his bed.

He'd been hoping by hiding in the shadows under his bed, he would have been able to get away from the voices in his head. But he couldn't escape them, because that's where they lived; in his head.

'Your green, like snot.'

'Boogerboy.'

'Take him down Titans!'

'You're their pet; their mascot.'

'...I'll have to assume the worse and send you to jail…'

'Changing into animals is useless; just like you.'

'Won't you ever grow up?'

_Her _voice hurt the most. It felt like he was being stabbed by a red hot rod, pinning him to the floor below him. He knew she only did it to keep him safe; to stop them from getting too close, but right now, he wondered how much truth there was behind her insults.

"Beastboy?" a muffled voice called from through his door, "I know you're in there; can I talk to you?"

Beastboy didn't say anything; maybe she'd go away if he stayed quiet.

"Beastboy; we're worried about you." Her voice was softer than normal, but maybe it was just his ears playing tricks on him.

He remained silent all the same.

"Is it alright if I come in?" she asked.

'She sounds broken,' Beastboy thought guilty, 'What happened?'

He was torn from his thoughts as something hard smashed against his door.

"For Azar's sake… Beastboy, we're hurting because you're hiding from us," Raven growled, a thud following her words, "I'm hurting…"

Beastboy didn't know what compelled him to move, but he was glad he did. Clambering out from under his bed, Beastboy rushed towards his door, opening it as quickly as he could.

He was shocked to find Raven crumpled against the opposite wall, her hand cradled against her chest and tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Raven… I…" Beastboy stammered, "I…"

Raven looked up, her glare filled with enough hatred to kill the undead several times over.

"You know what; I don't know why I'm here," Raven growled, getting to her feet, "I don't know why I'm trying to help you; you're not worth the effort."

With that, she fled towards her room, leaving a distorted Beastboy leaning against his door frame.

'What have I done?'

* * *

**_A/N: _**_I know, I know; ya'll you BBRae fans out their are gonna be hating me... I hate myself at the moment, so if ya wanna flame me, then go ahead. I deserve it..._

_Hope you at least enjoyed my writing, even if the content was less than savoury..._

_Until next time_

_Eldrid Ragnarok_


	8. Chapter 8

**_A/N: _**_Thank you all for your kind words; it really does help_

_This chapter will hopefully make you all feel better about my story :)_

* * *

Beastboy was in shock.

And he was on autopilot.

He was on autopilot because he was in shock.

And it was worrying all of the Titans, except for Raven.

_**TT**_

It had been a week since Beastboy and Raven's 'fight', and neither had spoken to the other. Beastboy would leave the room as soon as Raven walked in, leaving behind nothing that would betray his previous presence.

And if Raven was already in the room, Beastboy would turn around and leave without a second thought.

Robin, Cyborg and Starfire knew that there was something driving their polar opposite friends apart, and they had tried getting the two sides to talk to each other with little to no success.

Cyborg was currently in the Tower's garage, working on the T-... uh, I mean, his baby, with Raven sitting on a crate in the corner, doing her own little thing.

"Wanna talk about it?" Cyborg asked, startling Raven.

She glared at where the teen's feet were poking out from underneath the car.

"No."

"Okay."

The only sound that could be heard was coming from Cyborg, as he fine tuned his baby's engine.

Raven was growing uncomfortable.

'What does he think he's doing?' she asked herself, 'Does he really think I'll crack that easily?'

'No he doesn't,' Knowledge replied, 'He knows you'll want to talk; he only asks to be polite.'

"You seen BB lately?" Cyborg asked, his voice drawing Raven back into reality, "I haven't seen him act like the why he is, ever."

'Beastboy isn't acting normally?' Raven thought, 'More to the point, he's not locking himself in his room?'

"How do you mean?" Raven asked slowly, not wanting to seem interested.

She must of failed, because Cyborg snorted in amusement.

"He's deliberately avoiding you," he answered, "and he's acting more mature; it's both great and weird at the same time."

"Beastboy? Mature?" Raven snorted, "Unless you hit your head under there, I doubt you're telling me the truth."

"Of course ya don't believe me," Cyborg sighed, "He always leaves before you show up; it's like he doesn't want to be seen by you… Would you know why?"

'Yes,' Raven thought sadly. "No," she answered aloud in her monotone, "I wouldn't."

"He's no longer accusing me of being insensitive towards him whenever I eat meat, and he's become a good sportsman during our games on the Gamestation. Now, I'm not going to accuse you of changing the little squirt before this whole… thing, but something you did with him has stuck."

Raven shook her head.

"I still don't believe you."

Cyborg pulled himself out from underneath his baby, and sat up. the oil and grime that covered his upper body and face would have been hilarious if it wasn't for his serious expression.

"When was the last time you heard him whine, complain, shout or celebrate?" Cyborg asked seriously, "About anything."

Raven was about to answer, when she realised she couldn't remember.

So she shrugged instead.

"Exactly my point," Cyborg stated, "It's the same for Rob and Star; neither of them can remember the last time Beastboy has had any kind of emotional outburst in the past week since Adonis."

Raven was feeling bad now, the guilt that had hit her after she had stormed away from a visibly broken Beastboy coming back to crush her with full force.

She had caused Beastboy to grow up, but for the wrong reason.

_**TT**_

Robin could hear grunting coming from the training room, as well as heavy rock music.

He had just left Starfire in the common room, where they had been watching a romcom, and he knew both Cy and Raven were in the tower's garage.

Beastboy's communicator was in his room.

'So who was in the training room?' Robin asked himself.

He stepped in front of the doors to said room, watching them slide apart to reveal a green teen dressed in all black smashing his fists into one of the many punching bags.

"Thought you were in your room," Robin stated bluntly, turning down the loud music, "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Beastboy grunted, planting a right hook into the punching bag, "Why would you think something's going on?" he asked.

"Three torn punching bags can tell you a lot," Robin stated matter-of-factly, "Plus, your knuckles are bleeding, and your soaked in sweat."

Beastboy stopped, glancing down at his knuckles. And just as Robin had told him, they were bleeding.

"Huh," he muttered, "Didn't realise."

Robin nodded his head, chucking his friend his green water bottle. "Care to tell me why you're trying to kill a punching bag?"

"Not something I want to talk about," the changeling mumbled, swallowing a gulp of water. "Why?"

"You acting differently," Robin stated, before holding out his left hand, and counting off several different reasons, "You're acting more maturely; you haven't picked a fight with Cyborg for the last week over meat; You no longer complain about people cheating or the controller being defective when you lose; and when you do win, you shake the hand of your opponent then leave.

"Not to mention you've been avoiding Raven this whole time."

"Have not," Beastboy retorted, "I've stuck around her during scheduled training and during missions."

"But never of your free will," Robin pointed out, "What happened to you two? You were doing so well, and then you've just grown cold towards each other."

Beastboy sighed, dropping himself to the floor, and lying down.

"We had an argument," he deadpanned, "Nothing else; it'll resolve itself."

"Will it?" Robin asked, "Are so sure that whatever is going on between you too will resolve itself?"

Beastboy shook his head.

"I hope so man," he sighed in defeat, "For her sake at least, I hope so."

* * *

_**A/N: **Please review; reviews keep me alive, I kinda need to them to keep this story going... I hope you all enjoyed this chapter._

_Next time we'll have some BBRae fluff; can't wait :)_

_Until Next time,  
Eldrid Ragnarok_


	9. Chapter 9

**_A/N: _**_Okay, sense a lot of people have complained about me wanting to stop, I've decided that I'll continue writing both of these stories._

_I didn't realise that by saying that I was gonna quit, so many people would review *shrugs* oh well. I hope you enjoy this chapter nonetheless._

_Yours Sincerely  
Anthony Jones_

* * *

"Friend Beastboy, are you in there?" Starfire asked, her hand rapping gently against her friend's door.

"Leave me alone Star," was the response.

"Robin wants to see you," Starfire explained, "He said he needed to do the 'talking to' to you…"

There was a thump from inside the room, and Beastboy's door opened to reveal a bedraggled green teen standing in front of the alien. Star didn't look anywhere but at Beastboy's eyes. Her guardian had told her that the eyes were the doors to people's souls; doors that were always open to any to see.

Beastboy's eyes held nothing but emerald walls that kept Starfire out.

"Tell him I'll be there in a second."

Starfire noticed that he was holding his hands behind his back.

"You are the 'okay', yes?"

Beastboy nodded his head.

"If you are the sure..." Starfire trailed off.

"I am, Star," Beastboy replied, "Thanks for giving me Robin's message."

Starfire nodded her head, quickly making her way back to the common room. There was just something Beastboy that made her feel the "down in the dumps", as Cyborg called it.

She didn't like the feeling.

_**TT**_

"He's scared we'll judge him."

Raven snapped around to glare at her yellow doppleganger.

"We judge everyone," Raven snapped. "It's who we are."

"Doesn't mean everyone around us _wants _to be judged by us," Knowledge rebuked.

Raven sighed, rubbing her wrist.

"I shouldn't have hit the door."

"You really shouldn't have."

"I overreacted."

"That you did."

Raven sighed again, eyeing her knowledgeable doppelganger.

"What are you trying to get me to do?" Raven asked bluntly.

"Nothing," the doppelganger replied.

Raven huffed, jabbing a finger at her knowledge.

"_You _want me to apologize to BeastBoy, don't you?" Raven accused.

"Maybe I do, maybe _you _do," Knowledge replied.

Raven huffed.

"He was hurting himself again," Raven retorted. "He hurts himself _every time _we leave the tower; why should I forgive him for _hiding _that from us?"

"Us as in you and us, your emotions, or us as in you and the rest of the Titans?" Knowledge asked, tilting her head slightly.

"Both," Raven replied sharply.

"Because he doesn't know how else to deal with it," Knowledge retorted. "So far he's either hidden his past or avoided it-"

"Which is the same thing," Raven growled.

"My point is that he doesn't _want _to talk about any of his scars; new or old," Knowledge retorted. "Self-harm or punishment."

Raven glared at her yellow cloaked emoticlone.

"I'll apologize for losing it," Raven droned. "But I won't forgive him."

Knowledge shrugged. "You might not have much of a choice in the matter."

Raven didn't reply.

She didn't know how to.

_**TT**_

"Hey BB," Cyborg called out. "How're ya today?"

Beastboy shrugged, walking around sitting down on the couch mechanically.

"Same as yesterday," he replied slowly, "Like crap."

Cyborg didn't say anything else on the matter. It had been the same response for the past week or so, and everyone in the tower and learnt pretty quickly not to pry.

"Beastboy; how do you feel about leaving the tower for some team bonding?" Robin asked from the other end of the couch.

"Will Raven be there?" Beastboy automatically.

"Probably not," Cyborg replied. "_You _usually coax her into coming."

Beastboy raised his right shoulder slightly before dropping it.

"Beastboy?"

The green skinned animorph almost jumped out of his skin at the sudden appearance of the team's half demon.

"Y-yeah?" Beastboy replied hesitantly.

"Can I speak to you on the roof?"

Beastboy nodded his head weakly.

"Thanks."

Waiting until the common room door closed, Cyborg tried to keep his surprise from his face.

"Say it," Beastboy sighed. "I know you wanna."

Cyborg shook his head.

"You didn't bolt from the room like you usually do," Cyborg shrugged his massive metallic shoulders. "I was just surprised."

"I doubt anyone wasn't it," Robin replied.

Beastboy sighed, shaking his head. "Whatever. I should probably go see what Raven wants."

"Good luck man," Cyborg offered.

"Sure."

Cyborg, Robin and Starfire all watched as Beastboy slowly walked through the common room doors after Raven.

"Five bucks says Rae's gonna chuck BB off the roof," Cyborg stated, staring at Robin.

"Twenty says they're gonna have a heart-to-heart tal-"

Cyborg laughed. "Ain't no way Rae is gonna open up to BB; it just doesn't work of them."

Robin snorted. "I know; I was gonna say that they'd have a heart-to-heart talk, Beastboy will do something to annoy Raven, and then she'll throw him off."

Cyborg whistled. "You're on Boy Wonder."

_**TT**_

"Beastboy, I want to apologise for my actions lately."

Beastboy froze in the doorway leading onto the roof, staring at Raven's back in panic.

"W-what?" he stuttered, standing up as straight as he could.

"I'm sorry for avoiding you.," Raven explained, turning around to stare at Beastboy blankly. "And I'm sorry for getting unjustly upset at you; I was just…"

Beastboy tilted his head slightly.

"Just..?" he prompted.

Raven shook her head.

"It doesn't matter," she whispered sullenly. "You'll just question me; probably make some joke about me being sick or being someone else."

Beastboy frowned.

"Try me."

Raven looked at Beastboy, stunned.

"I was worried; I thought you were… you know," Raven made a slicing motion across her wrists.

Beastboy's frown deepened.

"I'm more animal than human Raven," Beastboy stated, his words drawn out in a measured tone. "Animals either fight what is hurting them or hide from it."

Raven stepped towards Beastboy, looking him up and down. Beastboy remained stock still as Raven studied him for a good ten minutes.

"You've grown," Raven stated when she'd finished, moving past Beastboy and throw the roof entrance.

Raven's cryptic statement kept Beastboy frozen in his position for a good while, possibly the longest he'd ever remained in place unhindered or trapped.

_She's definitely an odd person, _Beastboy concluded, glancing at the sun. _Why did I meet her I wonder..._

* * *

**_A/N: _**_Right, so as you've probably figured out, my style has changed slightly. Writing a novel kinda did that to me. I hope you like the change._

_Also, be prepared for an overload in heavy angst and super light fluffyness, cuz that's how I'll be treating this story for now on._

There will be **_NO _**Lemon/smut/whateverelseyoucallit

_Thanks for reading *grins*_


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: **__Heyo all; sorry about not updating sooner, but here is a short chapter to make up for my lack of activity as of late. Hope it makes up for nothing since my last update._

"C'mon BB," Cyborg called out from the driver's seat. "Let's go before the day gets any older."

Beastboy nervously approached the T-car, pulling his hood tighter over his head.

"It will be 'the fine'," Starfire commented, zipping from above the T-car to next Beastboy. "No one will realize you've gone missing."

Beastboy shook his head, suddenly backing away from the T-car.

"I shouldn't go outside," Beastboy muttered. "What if there's a crime alert? I can't face villains like thi-"

A black band came around his mouth, effectively silencing the green animorph.

"If I have to go to the park," Raven's monotonous voice stated firmly. "Then so do you Beastboy."

Beastboy huffed, or tried to huff through the magic around his mouth.

Cyborg fistpumped the air, gunning the T-car's engine.

"Let's go go go," he grinned, watching as the last three Titans entered the T-car. "A day at the park is just what this team needs."

_**TT**_

"Yo BB," Cyborg shouted, bouncing a football in his hand. "Go long dude."

Beastboy smiled, running away from Cyborg, who'd just chucked the football. It was the happiest he'd been since the Adonis incident, and it didn't seem like anything would ruin the green animorph's day.

"I got it, I got it, I got it," Beastboy yelled out, chasing after the airborne ball, not seeing the group of teenagers in his path.

_**Crash!**_

"Don't got it," Beastboy groaned, rubbing his head.

"This your ball?" one of the teenagers asked, tossing it in the air and catching it.

"It i-"

"Not asking you short-stuff," the teenager snarked. "Now move outta the way."

Beastboy blinked, shuffling away from the imposing teens.

"Yo Cyborg dude," the teenager called out, holding up the ball. "Is this yours man?"

Cyborg nodded his head, approaching the group.

"It is, but my friend here," Cyborg gestured towards the civilian clothed Beastboy, "Was playing catch with me and was simply trying to get it back."

The teenager shook his head, tossing the ball to Cyborg.

"Why don't you come play with us big kids?" the teenager asked. "Leave the little 'uns to play tag or hide'n'seek or whatever it is that they play."

Cyborg looked guiltily towards Beastboy.

"Sorry man," Cyborg whispered, knowing that Beastboy's sensitive ears would pick it up. "I'll be back in a bit."

Beastboy shook his head, pulling the hood of his hoodie down, morphing into a cat.

"Awww; would you look at that," one of the older teenage girls cooed. "It's the Titans' mascot."

Beastboy's ears drooped, his head falling slightly.

"Leave him alone," Raven droned. "What did Beastboy do to you?"

Beastboy switched back into his human form, spinning around to face Raven in surprise.

Raven walked past Beastboy, standing toe-to-toe with the taller teenager.

"Well?" Raven asked monotonously.

The teenager scowled, sneering at Raven.

"I don't have to answer you, _witch_," the teenager spat.

Raven scowled, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Beastboy has probably saved your sorry ass more times than he could care to count," Raven retorted calmly. "He is a _person, _not an _object_. Don't let me catch you calling him anything _but _Beastboy."

Beastboy frowned, watching as Raven stalked back to where she had been sitting, picking up her book and resettling in her previous position.

_That was weird… _Beastboy thought to himself.

_**A/N:**__Okay, so I'm going to ask this; if you have any ideas as to where you think this story is going to go, can you comment below? That would be amazing, as I love knowing what my readers think will happen in my stories._

_Yours Kindly,  
Anthony Jones_


	11. Rewriting

Hello all,

I am sorry for having been away for so long but I was dragged away into writing stories for someone else instead of for myself. Recently I find myself in a pickle because I haven't been able to find the motivation to write for my OCs so I figured it might be a good idea to rewrite this story due to some mistakes pointed out by reviewers.

If you, the reader, want me to rewrite this story then I will, including changes to correct the story slightly more and possibly expand on it a bit.

I'd also like to say that I will be posting the repaired and updated chapters on the following Tumblr:

Kind regards,

Anthony


	12. News

Hi ya'll

Sorry about the looooong wait, but I've finally finished a new fanfiction and it's up on my Tumblr and is under the tags "#teen titans" and "#fanfiction". If you're interested in reading any of my original content, you can find all of it under "#gail writes".

I hope you enjoy!

Apologetically,  
Gail


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